Faith
by TurboWiz70
Summary: Collaboration with eclarefanxxx. The morning after Eli's graduation, Clare realizes that he's really leaving for NYU soon . . . and she does not not want to let him go. ECLARE! Intense make-out session included. One-shot. Read, review, enjoy!


Hey everyone! Turbo here with a one-shot that I had the fortune to work on with the incredibly talented eclarefanxxx! I hope you all enjoy this! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: We don't own Degrassi.

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Faith

His bed was so comfortable. It was soft to lie on and was pleasant to sleep in. The comforter kept me warm and safe . . . just like the hold of his arms. Last night I probably had the most incredible sleep of my life; Eli had kept me in a comforting embrace all through the night and I was so relaxed that I fell asleep with my head on his chest.

But now that I was awaking the morning after Eli's high school graduation, I did not feel so secure. The only security I felt was from his comforter; I then noticed that my head was not on his chest, but on his pillow. As comfortable and soothing as it was – plus it held his scent that could not help but sigh at as it filled my nostrils – I could not help but wonder where my boyfriend was.

I sat up and looked around, expecting to see him in there somewhere. He was not at his desk, at his door, or anywhere in sight. I sighed, figuring that he was probably taking his meds or something and that he would be back soon. I lied back down and turned onto my side, once again looking at the empty mattress next to me.

The reality slowly began to settle in . . . this would not be the first time I would not see Eli in the mornings. I will not see him in the mornings, afternoons, evenings, or nights; he would be five hundred miles away from me and there was no possible way he would be able to hold me in his arms or kiss me.

My Eli, my boyfriend, my true love was soon going to leave me here. He graduated twenty-four hours ago, we went to prom together, and now we were waking up on the first day of summer. We would only have so many weeks together until he left and it hurt that our time together would be so limited.

Tears were stinging my eyes at these thoughts and I felt them slowly going down my face. I did not want Eli to leave me yet; there was so much we had to do together and I did not want the growth of our relationship to be put on hold so soon. I knew I sounded selfish thinking this way, but I really do support him going to NYU . . . I just wish that I could have more time with him. He may not be leaving until the end of the summer and we may have been closer than ever but that did not change the fact that he would not be leaving when we had so much left to do together.

We still had to go on some urban adventures that we had not been on since we got back together, we had to find a car for me since I just got my license and he said he would come with me since he knew more about them than I did, and we had to take our physical relationship further.

I decided a while back that I wanted to make love to him before he left, but I did not know when. I told him this and we agreed that it would not be any time too soon; last night was the first night we actually spent the night together and we did not want to rush with it.

Tears began running down my face even more, thinking of how there was so much left for us to experience as a couple and it would not be long until we would be deprived of spending time together. I hated knowing he would be far away and part of me wanted to break down and began for him to stay; yet I knew that I could not ask him to remain here and I knew he would not even consider the idea after all he had done to get accepted.

I released a sob, hating the realness of this situation. I cleared away the tears on my face, realizing just how much I had cried. Not wanting Eli to see me like this, I decided to go wash the tears away. I stood up and left the room, walking towards the bathroom across the hall. I put my hand on the doorknob and turned it, taking a breath to still my tears. I opened the door, however, my heart began racing and I forgot all about my tears.

The room was steaming and I could feel the particles of water vapor coming onto my skin; I could feel it, but I cared more about how it was glistening off the skin of my boyfriend. He was leaning over the sink until I opened the door, a toothbrush in his hand. He was standing there wearing nothing but a black towel around his waist; he was staring at me, shocked that I was gawking at him. I know I was standing there like a dear in the headlights and that my jaw looked like it was about to fall off my face, but I did not care; Eli was standing there in front of me, half naked.

"Hi," he said, bringing me back to reality.

"H-Hi," I said after briefly shaking my head. "Um . . . s-sorry, I was just . . . coming to watch you – wash my face."

I was completely away of how idiotic I sounded and I instantly turned red, but Eli did not seem to notice thankfully.

"Well, I just got out of the shower, so if you want to hold on a second I'll be done brushing my teeth . . ."

I should have walked away then, but my feet refused to move away from the room. Instead, I felt my feet moving towards him; I closed the door behind me out of habit before stepping behind him. I then wrapped my arms around him, not caring that his skin was damp and that water was now clinging to the front of my pajamas; I rested my head on his shoulder and he turned his head in my direction, meeting my eyes.

"Is this okay?" I asked him.

He smirked at me before giving my lips a gentle kiss, nonverbally giving me his answer. He then proceeded to brush his teeth, but I did not mind. I was simply content holding him as the steam blanketed us in his bathroom while we had complete privacy. The moment sending chills down my spine, I turned my head and began placing kisses on his shoulder. I kissed his skin repeatedly, giving each inch a delicate peck. He did not protest, so I continued; I did take notice of his body heat increasing and I have a hunch that it was not from the temperature of the room.

I could tell he was enjoying this, especially when I heard his breathing get deeper. I caressed his toned stomach as I continued to kiss him, which caused a moan to escape his lips as he continued to brush his teeth. He was soon finished, but I was not prepared to release him yet. Once he was done rinsing his mouth, he straightened up and I stood up on my toes so my lips were level with his ear.

"Kiss me," I told him.

He turned around to face me, clearly surprised by my blunt request after spending minutes in this already somewhat sexual environment.

"Clare –."

"Eli," I interrupted him, putting my hands on his damp shoulders and he cupped my elbows. "Just kiss me."

He gazed at me, clearly surprised; his expression soon softened and a grin came to his perfect lips. I grinned back at him before he rested his forehead against mine.

"I love you," he whispered, his warm fresh breath hitting my lips.

"I love you too," I replied.

He then put his lips to mine, giving them a gentle peck. He smiled at me teasingly as I pouted before pecking my lips again . . . and again . . . and again. He soon put less and less space between our lips and our multiple pecks had morphed into one passionate kiss. He tried to make it soft again, but I would not have it; I pressed my lips against his even harder and practically stuck my tongue down his throat.

I hummed against his lips and the vibration caused him to moan into my mouth; I then wrapped my arms around his neck and his arms slid around my body, pressing us together so my torso was right against his. One of his hands slid onto the small of my back and I shuddered; it was innocent, but the atmosphere made me more aware of everything and the slightest move made my heart race faster and faster.

Eli – who had given up on trying to be gentle – slid his hands to my waist and he pushed me to the other side of the room. My back was soon pressed up against the wall and we were kissing each other harder than we ever kissed before. My heart was hammering as he slid his hands to my hips, our tongues passionately becoming tangled. One of my hands rested on his back while the other got intertwined in the forest of his dark locks.

My body was sandwiched between Eli and the wall, both of which still had traces of water vapor sticking to them. He then tore his lips from mine and moved down to my neck, giving it plenty of openmouthed kisses and the occasional bite. I gasped as he did, for he had never sunk his teeth into me before; all I can say about it is that it put all my vampire fantasies to shame. I panted by how incredible this was feeling and I was very tempted to ask him to remove my pajama top since it was getting so hot in this small room . . .

I stilled my thoughts, knowing that it was too soon for us to wander into that territory. To distract myself from having anymore sexy thoughts, I cupped his face and brought his lips back to mine. Our kiss continued to be as heated and lustful as it was before his hands continued to massage my hips; my left hand rested over his heart – which was beating rapidly – while my right played with the locks at the back of his head.

To my amazement, I felt Eli grab my wrists and pull them away from his body; although our lips were still molded together and I was completely dazzled by our kiss, I was completely aware of how his hands were pinning my wrists over my head and against the wall. As he did, I felt himself press his lips even closer to mine; it was as though he wanted me to focus on his lips and his lips alone. I complied and continued to kiss him back, wanting our kiss to be the only thing on our minds right now.

He continued kissing me and I felt the sparks continuing to fly. Kissing Eli was amazing and Eli kissing me back was out of this world; I would never feel so much in a kiss unless it was with this guy . . . this man . . . this amazing person who I never wanted to leave my life.

As much I loved kissing him, I was certain that my brain would shut down if I did not get oxygen that instant. Eli, who seemed to be feeling the same way, soon took his lips away from mine and we both immediately began to fill our lungs with all the air possible.

Both of us were heaving, basking in the aftermath of the most incredible make-out session we have ever had thus far. I closed my eyes rested my head on the wall, trying to catch my breath while my chest rose and feel repeatedly. Eli released my wrists and my arms fell limp at my sides; he put one of his hands on the wall beside my shoulder as he tried to regain a normal breathing pattern. Once I felt myself gain more composure, I lifted my head and turned to Eli; a smile sprung to my face when our eyes met and he smiled back at me.

"Whoa . . . that was a first for us," Eli stated with a grin, attempting to catch his breath.

My smile fell off my face. Yes, it was a first for us . . . it was just one of the many firsts we would have . . . but I knew that I would be deprived of many firsts for us while he was away.

"Clare," he said, looking regretful as he took a few steps away from me. "I'm so sorry . . . I didn't mean to be so . . . I was caught up in the moment and –."

"Eli . . . I'm not crying because of that," I said, not bothering to hide my tears. "Well, at least not because I'm upset that we did it."

"Then what's the matter?" he asked softly, gently reaching for my hand in a concerned manner.

I just simply couldn't form my spiraling emotions into one coherent sentence at that moment. Memories played in my head, and I couldn't seem to stop them. It was as if my mind had gone into a completely numb state and had instead morphed into an old film projector. I knew that all of the memories, good and bad, were never going to leave me.

"Clare?" his soft voice resonated through my ears, and I found it almost impossible to not break down at that very moment.

I turned towards the wall and lightly ran my hand down the warm tiles, tears beginning to form in my eyes. Wanting to answer him, I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and forcibly pressed my forehead against the wall.

"Whoa, whoa," Eli murmured, stepping towards me. He gently laid his hand on my back and began to lightly stroke it through my cotton tank top. I could smell the spicy cinnamon scent of his body wash as he neared me, tilting his head to the side to peer at my facial expression. "Hey, look at me."

My shoulders shook as I wept silently. The sobs were begging to break out of my chest, and I felt hiccups begin to form in my lungs. Before long, one slipped through my lips, and I lost all control as Eli softly nudged me away from the wall.

"Sweetheart, look at me," he said gently as the control that I once possessed began to slip through my fingers.

"I love you _so much_," I attempted to say, but the words were practically trampled by the noises I had begun to make. Sobs ripped through my chest as he pulled me into his arms and tightly wound his arms behind my back.

"Shhh, it's okay," he reassured me, his voice never increasing above a soft, comforting whisper. "I love you too, and we're going to make it through this. We're going to have an awesome summer together, and after that we'll see each other whenever we can. We'll always stay in touch, and we'll always be together. It's you and me, Clare." I grasped his back tighter, relishing the feel of his soft, warm skin, and pulled him closer to me.

My emotions got the best of me, and before long I was slumping against Eli and hiccupping over sobs as tears ran down my face. Normally, I keep my composure better than this, but something just snapped in me that night. Eli was the only one who could put me back together again.

"Oh, sweetheart, it's alright. Shh," I softly gasped as I felt his hands start rubbing my back in circles. I buried my face in his neck and leaned into him as the bathroom began to lose its post-shower warmth. I shivered and he took notice right away. "Come on, Clare." He said kindly, intertwining his fingers in mine and leading me into his room.

Eli grabbed a black T shirt and shorts and softly stated that he would be right back and he'd change into some clothes. Minutes passed by and I curled up under his blankets and clutched a pillow for support.

Re-entering the room, he softly lay down behind me and pressed into me, wrapping an arm around my waist and tenderly kissing my cheek. "Are you better now?" he asked carefully.

"Y-yes, I am. I just…I don't know…" I trailed off, unknowingly losing my track of thoughts.

"You're afraid of losing me, aren't you Clare?"

"What?"

"You're scared of me leaving you."

I couldn't deny it. I couldn't say, 'No, Eli, I'm thrilled that you're leaving Toronto and going off to college to start a new part of your life without me!'

The worst part of it all was the fact that I was _supposed_ to be excited for him. I just couldn't.

Sobs left my throat as I felt him gently cup my cheek and pull me into his arms. As his arms encircled my waist, I gripped his black shirt with my fist and leaned into him as much as I could. His clean scent calmed me immediately, but it certainly didn't stop the tears from flowing.

"I know how hard this is, Clare. I know," he breathed into my hair, softly caressing the curls with one hand and cradling me to him with the other. "We've been through so much, though, Clare. If we made it through everything else, NYU will be nothing."

I whimpered in despair and desperately tried to slow my tears which were beginning to dry on my cheeks. "I-I'm going to miss you,"

"I'll miss you too, sweetheart, but we will make it through. There's no doubt in my mind, and I'll visit you as much as I can!" Eli smiled as he planted a loving kiss on my head.

I melted into him as he pulled the covers over me and brought my exhausted form towards him. The tears finally disappeared after about ten minutes of him cooing into my ear, and the soft black sheets enveloped me in warmth.

"Eli?" I asked gently.

"Yeah?"

"I-I want to make love…before you leave," The words left my lips before I could think about them. It's been on my mind for far too long.

His breath became shallower as his hand found its way into mine. "We have all summer, Clare. I'll be here."

"I know you will. You always have been."

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Review please!


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